May 2, 2007

I'm One of the Stinky Ones!

I'm Grandma Kathy, Mom, foster Mom, and wife for 29 years to one of the best men God created! Sorry, everyone else! He currently works in Landscape Construction. My three sons have wonderful wives, and have given me a grandchild each. My daughter graduated from Home School and is now in college.

There are some long gray streaks in my curly brown hair now, and changes don't stop coming! We've labeled this time in our lives "reverse puberty"! You may not want to hear the word "menopause", or "mid-life crisis", but that's what I'm talking about! Changes rarely seem to come easily, even when they're anticipated... but, come, they will.

With the kids grown and the foster children re-located, I'm stretching my wings to learn about the internet and doing business on eBay. What an exciting thing to open up the world's door and see what's there - like never before in history! I'm not blind, though; I see the ugly and dark things on the internet, too. I'm just not afraid to go there, if I believe that's where God is leading me. I know that God loves the world and gave His Son to "buy" us all back from our slavery, so the darkness can't rule for long.

It may seem strange to say this, but my own particular bondage was to my own goodness! Believe it or not! You see, I haven't been addicted to drugs, alcohol or porn. I'm not tied up with bad memories of child abuse. I'm not bound by a history of sexual relationships. My addiction was my own pride! (I'm still dealing with it)

If you've done much Bible reading, you might remember the stories of Jesus when He was angry. Check out the books of Matthew, Mark, Luke and John. Who did He lay into? Who was He often upset with? My pastor would say, "who ticked Him off?" It was the religious people!!! Well, that's me!

When my husband and I first met, his first thought of me was "goody-two-shoes". He got that right!

We "religious people" are the ones that think we have it all figured out. We know the rules. We can keep them (we think). We can please God and we're better than most everyone else. We like the best kind of music. We are proud of lots of things that make us look good. We dress right. We smell right. We smile right. We vote right. We talk right. On and on and on....

You know how Jesus described people like me? He said that we are like white-washed tombs. We look clean and fresh on the outside, but inside we're full of dead men's bones! Phee-yew! Not very flattering, is it! To Jesus, we needed a deep-cleaning, all the way into our hearts and thoughts. The rules on the outside didn't make us clean at all. We still smelled of death. No one, not even God, likes someone who thinks they're "all that". (But He loves us!)

So, what does He offer us - the stinky ones?

The most simple thing - Himself.

At our invitation, He comes into our "comfort zone" and washes us, and fills our empty, aching hearts with love. Sounds pretty silly until you experience it, then it becomes EVERYTHING you've always wanted. Are you interested? All you have to do is ask. Again, it seems silly. It should be harder than that. What are the rules? What must I perform? Nothing! No performing and no rules, just asking!

If you like, stand on a sandy beach and yell over the ocean to Him. Or, if you prefer, go into your bedroom closet and hide in the coats and shirts, and whisper to Him.

Just ask.

Ask Him to clean you. Ask Him to make Himself real to you. Ask Him for whatever... He'll hear you.

Then get ready for the ride of your life!

Even with all the changes that come, and even when you get into your years of older age "crisis", God will be with you...just because you ask! He promised He would always love you, and always be with you. What could be more awesome than that?

Because I asked, I (usually) don't smell like dead bones anymore. We're still cleaning up here, you know. God is extremely patient. Though I've been as close to Him as I can be for many years, it still amazes me that He's so crazy about me. Wow. And I know - He's that crazy about you, too!

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