I need help.
I came so close to clicking on the button - you know, those internet "opportunities" that just look so good! A remarkable job opportunity that will make me rich!!!!
I know better.
I've been praying and researching and asking questions for three months now...all to find the door-knob that will open the "new life" door for me.
I've asked myself about my motives. Am I worried that I have to prove my worth? There aren't children in my home (very often, anyway), and I spent the young adult years of my life being a stay-at-home mom. I have no regrets about it, believe me, but now that the children are grown I'm grasping for something just as meaningful to give my life to.
Am I in too much of a hurry? We’re doing okay financially. We have a home, clothes and food. I’ve come far enough along these last few weeks to say that I do want more. I’ve even asked the Lord to make me rich. Now, THAT’S a departure from the path I chose as a youth!
Maybe I’m supposed to just take a rest from my labors. I mean, like the word, “retire”?
Whoa, I can’t see me doing that for very long! I’ve tried.... I’m just not done yet. My husband works a very physically demanding job, and puts in a lot of hours doing it. I can just see him coming home from work every day to see me being “retired”!
And, retirement is near the last on my list of fun things to do! I really do want meaningful work. My problem is...
My job skills are few. At least, I don't believe in my skills that much. That's probably the whole problem right there!
For almost 30 years I've been the Family Life/Home Manager. Much of that time has been spent giving birth to, growing, refereeing, coaching, teaching, training, teasing and studying children. But I'm spent, now. I just don't have it in me any more to work with kids 24/7! That's the main reason I'm not a foster mom any more. So, how can I "become profitable" with skills like that?
I love writing, so I've started blogging (not to be confused with “clogging”, that stompin‘ dance!).
I love editing photos, so I took a class in PhotoShop.
I love my independence, so I took a class in starting a home-based business. I still have a husband, and grown children and grandchildren to serve, and I need to remain available for them.
I’ve been a care giver, dish-washer, transportation provider, housekeeper, poet, artist, calligrapher, potter, building maintenance worker, home school teacher, worship leader, frugal home economist, child advocate, graphics designer, letter writer, world traveler, short-term missionary, and have kept a small flock of chickens.
But my experience and expertise is children. And my heart is in children. How can I sell this to bring in an income? And, should I?
Do I have something to offer the world in the realm of writing? All of my adult life I’ve kept a journal...
Every day I look at the scripture on my calendar, quoting Jesus Christ Himself. I have to look at it because it’s in the bathroom, right in front of my face!
He said: “I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.” Matthew 18:3-4
I have to take this seriously. Jesus said the words, “unless” and “never”. That’s serious! So, there’s something here that I must dive into. Should I launch a new study in children, and learn how to be like one again, and then write about it?
Changing, becoming like a child, a little child, is important enough that we won’t be allowed to enter the kingdom of heaven unless we do it. So, that’s a very worthy endeavor - teaching child-like-ness!
I don’t want to presume that I must write a book, and that I’m an expert on something about kids that I should teach others, but I think that I might be going there.
That’s what I need help with.
Is this where are we going, Lord?