August 3, 2008

My Path Turned South

UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE: I am studying Medical Transcription and Medical Terminology. My proofreading business is in hibernation for now.

You know, these twists and turns in my life aren't always fun. Tonight I am uneasy and confused about my future work. I retired from foster care a year and a half ago, and I'm still unsettled. Long ago I learned that when a man (husband, father) loses his job, he normally fights depression and questions his value as a provider. I had no idea I'd have similar struggles as an "empty nester". Wow. I thought I had this all figured out long ago; but no, now I'm back to "what is the meaning of my life?"

I spent so many years in the mother-of-young-ones profession, that I have to continually tell myself that I am talented, smart, equipped and skilled in other areas as well. That's the hard part - the self-talk. Not too many people will walk up to a floundering 52-year old student and tell her she's talented, smart, equipped and skilled. (yeh, I guess I'm begging for attention here, aren't I!)

I'm actually doing very well in my studies, but it seems like the life work I seek is far out there - even out of sight. Unreachable. Not gonna happen for me. But then, I'm just tired tonight.

It often looks very promising, and exciting as well. It's time to encourage myself...

Some day I will see how my pursuits have all made sense. In fact, they do now! The step from proofreading to medical terminology is understandable. I need to patiently work through my assignments and keep my eyes open for opportunities. Somehow my hands will find the work that I can do with all my might, as unto the Lord, as the scriptures say.

On my walk in the Christmas trees tonight, the thought occurred to me that my headstone should read: I TRUST GOD. I sure want that to be true!

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