Hearing Heart Blog

Today is the first day of spring term for my daughter and me. She's taking two classes at a local community college, determined to get through school without incurring debt. "You go, girl!" I am taking a music class (voice) and a writing class. I am a background vocalist/worship leader, and I am a proofreader. I would love to excel in both things, but I don't know what my future is in either venue. Simply put, I will worship God and sing to Him, as the psalmist says, "as long as I have breath". As for proofreading, I still entertain doubts as to how I will make it my business, therefore I am also taking a course from Kathy Ide, of The Christian PEN. It's title is, "Establishing Your Freelance Business". I know I need to pray and clarify my mission statement , so that I can stay on track, so I will get to that sometime in the next few days. (Probably not today, since I must play with my little grandson!) I could start it like this: "The des

It is so good to have you back home, "K" ! You have always brought blessing and joy to us, and I knew this visit would be no different. We adopted you in our hearts just weeks after you came to stay with us five years ago. Remember that I told you my goal was to have our home be "your last foster home" ? I could tell that you had a deeper level of peace in your soul after that. We proved that we were committed to being your family, and that's what we became. Though you left us twice, we never saw you damaged by the disruptions. Wow. We love you, "K" . It's funny how I am actually happy that we get to share you with your birth family AND your current foster family. It would have been unheard of to me just a few years ago! I was so sure that adoption was the best plan for you, for EVERY child, but God changed my heart. Wow, again. Thanks for coming home again. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

I'm sure I spelled that right: metamorphoses has to be the plural form of metamorphosis. A very dramatic change. Yup, that's what happened to me, again! Anyway, my insight of the week is this, that my entire bodily chemistry changed me in many ways, if not in EVERY way, from a young girl into a grown woman. That was just a few years ago. Okay, it was actually about forty years ago! I'm at the tail-end of the Baby Boomer generation, but maybe none of the others would admit it...that this change is just as real! Hit me across the head with a two-by-four! My goodness! OUCH! I am no longer a mother of young children, okay, I'll say it...."I'm no longer a young mother", period! I'll even be more honest - "I'm no longer young". gulp! I wanted to use all my years of experience, all the wisdom of my age, the strength of my conviction and my heart-felt love for these children. I didn't have what it took to mother them the way that they neede

The sweet little girl, " A ", and her darling brother, " J ", presented with far more difficulties than I could manage last week. It was humbling to me, as a professional MOTHER, to call for help after having them in my home just a few hours . Wow! I anticipated that " J " was going to be a physical and mental challenge. I fell in love with the little guy, and thought I might be able to help him. The reason I had to throw in the towel was because I could find no way to keep him from being violent against his sister. Whether his autism is a correct diagnosis or not, he just didn't process information the way any of the children I've dealt with in the past have processed. Nothing I tried worked. Wow, again! I decided I could tolerate the chairs being knocked over and legos everywhere, for now. I could duck the toys flying at my head, because his facial expression didn't show anger or hostility. Perhaps I could help him think of more acceptable g

It was a rough three days, but I'll have to explain more later... ctctctctctctctctctctctctctctctctct