June 12, 2009

To Just Be, or Not to Be

The junior high school librarian saw me steal quietly up to the counter gripping a large white book. She knew its name. She knew my name. This was the ninth week I had come in to have her stamp the check-out card “RENEWED.”

Nervous and shaking like some sort of addict, I closed it quickly and covered its title with my jacket, hoping to draw no attention to it or to me.

A New You. How I desperately wanted a new me! I devoured its advice, practiced its exercises, studied the hair-do and make-up techniques, even traced some of the drawings to file away in my notebook. But nothing really changed. The length of borrowed time on the book was renewed, but I wasn't!

Week after week of studying A New You, I was still the old me. I began to worry that someone might find out that I wasn’t perfect by now, or at least a bit improved. What a hopeless race to nothing!


but I still struggle with being content in my present state. I should know better, but I have to continually let go of my selfish ambition to BE something, and rest in who God has made and what He has given. I don't have to prove myself to anyone, just keep on loving Him with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength; and love my neighbor as myself.

That is all. That is the best me!