Tears of frustration—is that what happens when the internet is down? My goodness, how did I become so attached that I would feel this way when it’s not available to me? Part of the problem was that I was functioning in the personal fear that I was to blame, that I’m not smart enough to figure out how to fix it. Too many steps and things to try, it was all terribly overwhelming for me.
I spent most of the morning yesterday troubleshooting, going through the steps I’d learned in my courses at LCC. Finally, I had unhooked and rehooked the modem and router so many times that I was afraid I’d tear the cord apart in my distress. When I identified the fact I was getting angry I shut everything down. I knew my work was not going to get done that day.
I’m rather embarrassed by it now, but I went through a progression of worries like “what if” terrorists controlled internet service and shut the whole country down? “What if” I couldn’t work any longer? “What if ” my house slid down the hill into the Long Tom? “What if” all my hair falls out when I get old?
Rational or irrational, I unplugged my worries from my hub (my head) and turned my eyes back to reality; to Jesus, my Prince of Peace. The Bible says we are all like sheep. I think that’s very kind, because yesterday I behaved more like a distressed chicken.
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